What really happened
Sep. 30th, 2004 08:57 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sealI walked, I sat, I stretched out, I took walks, and studied, waiting for the egg to hatch. This time it had a thick shell, and it was delivered late. Unfortunately around my birthday.
So, the egg was delivered just 12 hours before 50 ppl were gonna come over and congratulate me and spend some time with me, since I'm going back to the States again for another 3 months soon.
Frantically I started the labor work, and it did in deed feel as if the egg was too big for my tiny ass...and would split me in half.
AND THEN THE MODEM FLUNKED, THE COMPUTER CRASHED AND MY EGG DISAPPEARED INTO THE VOID BEFORE IT WAS DONE OR SAVED.
(oops...I did it again...sigh)
And right then, my ex fiancee (who lives downstairs) decides to knock on the door, wanting to talk and apologize forbeing an ass not being a good friend after we broke up, my dad had a multiple heart attack etc etc last year, and was I really sure they were welcome to the party? I told them haphazardly about it weeks after everyone else, when I happened upon them in the house...so sue me, i didn't know how to deal with either not inviting them or just do it...
Sitting in the ruins and eggshells of my academic strain and listening to the person I lived with for six or so years mumbling things we should have discussed two years ago I had several silent brain-farts, and then I just sent my ex out shopping for me and told him to carry some furniture for me downstairs in the common rooms where the dinner was going to take place. He obeyed like a nice little servant with a guilty conscience.
When my lovely helping girls came (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
northernveil and Pauline), I had composed myself, and the not so lovely (but somewhat handsome) ratzinger helped too...which saved me.
I think I was in a parallel reality zone during the party, and registered things only partially. Today, when I have woken up, looking at all my presents, I have come to the conclusion that my friends worry about me forgetting my language. I got ten or so books, most of them in Swedish, by swedish authors (except for Lies and the Lying Liars who Tell them - a Fair and Balanced look at the Right!! by Al Franken, fromratzinger, also an album with mixed Swedish hits (most of them bad), and an extremely fancy and gorgeous bottle of Swedish Aquavit (from tommdroid and her husband). But all this cavalcade of Swedishness was balanced with my friends worrying that I'm depressed, being away from my boyfriend, so I got plenty of soothing comfort pressies too, like some dvd movies, including two Star Wars boxes (one of them of course from jedispice &Co), plenty of nice red wine and dark fancy chocolate, cookies, home made jam and hand picked mushrooms. And then there were all the presents to help me and my home become more pretty, like the velvet embroidered handbag (so gorgeous!), the hand painted black top with silver bats - a "halloween-top" made by plastic sister, Mattias and Kristin, hand made silver bracelet and a silver necklace in the form of a tiny box to have around my neck - to keep aphrodisiactic drugs in of course...Lovely candles, ceramics, jewel-colored sugar for my home...and ummm..what more...YES! two gift cards, to go shopping before I go back to the States - for more books and CD:s of course.
...after all the partying and cleaning up (my loveliest and nicest ex, Morten helped me, and his sweet girlfriend Magda, Sniss and her beau for the evening helped a bit too)...After all that, when I a normal person would relax and go sleep or something....I went back to THE EGG.
There have never been a more depressing moment to start over again. And everything on the fucking internet seemed depressing and nasty that weekend. So I guess it came as no surprise when the internet and my computer died on me again.
Come monday I had to call my professor, telling him I wouldn't make the dead line (tuesday was the examinations on the papers, the thesis pro-memoriam with attached scientific problem definitions), luckily, since he knows me, he believed me and said I should do my very best to e-mail it to him and the four other ppl involved during monday night.
So I went to my membership internet café. Let me just tell you that the staff there was wonderful! They served me sandwiches and diet coke, they gave me an almost private room with the best computer, and hushed at the teenage boys coming in to play games after school etc etc. I owe them big time.
Late monday night, after my Internet and computer, (after a tedious support story) was on again, and after me having a breakdown and crying on the telephone shoulder ofnorthernveil, I finally sent a quite shitty version (compared to the first one) of the egg to my professor and my four classmates (there's only five of us on this level).
Come tuesday I was a zombie. During the hearing I sat and stared at thin air in front of me, being gently nudged by Per, my fellow archivist researcher, whenever I needed to say something, and even my professor was quite understanding. "You look like you've been through hell" he said - meaning this to sound nice.
Ah well, this is the story I'll laugh at in a few years. Maybe.
But at least, as a small comfort: there are as many decent people as assholes out there
even cowardly ex fiancees can grow some balls
my friends rock
my professor and fellow researchers rock
I might become a crappy archivist
I'll soon be under the chin of my geek again
So, the egg was delivered just 12 hours before 50 ppl were gonna come over and congratulate me and spend some time with me, since I'm going back to the States again for another 3 months soon.
Frantically I started the labor work, and it did in deed feel as if the egg was too big for my tiny ass...and would split me in half.
AND THEN THE MODEM FLUNKED, THE COMPUTER CRASHED AND MY EGG DISAPPEARED INTO THE VOID BEFORE IT WAS DONE OR SAVED.
(oops...I did it again...sigh)
And right then, my ex fiancee (who lives downstairs) decides to knock on the door, wanting to talk and apologize for
Sitting in the ruins and eggshells of my academic strain and listening to the person I lived with for six or so years mumbling things we should have discussed two years ago I had several silent brain-farts, and then I just sent my ex out shopping for me and told him to carry some furniture for me downstairs in the common rooms where the dinner was going to take place. He obeyed like a nice little servant with a guilty conscience.
When my lovely helping girls came (
northernveil and Pauline), I had composed myself, and the not so lovely (but somewhat handsome) ratzinger helped too...which saved me.I think I was in a parallel reality zone during the party, and registered things only partially. Today, when I have woken up, looking at all my presents, I have come to the conclusion that my friends worry about me forgetting my language. I got ten or so books, most of them in Swedish, by swedish authors (except for Lies and the Lying Liars who Tell them - a Fair and Balanced look at the Right!! by Al Franken, from
ratzinger, also an album with mixed Swedish hits (most of them bad), and an extremely fancy and gorgeous bottle of Swedish Aquavit (from tommdroid and her husband). But all this cavalcade of Swedishness was balanced with my friends worrying that I'm depressed, being away from my boyfriend, so I got plenty of soothing comfort pressies too, like some dvd movies, including two Star Wars boxes (one of them of course from jedispice &Co), plenty of nice red wine and dark fancy chocolate, cookies, home made jam and hand picked mushrooms. And then there were all the presents to help me and my home become more pretty, like the velvet embroidered handbag (so gorgeous!), the hand painted black top with silver bats - a "halloween-top" made by plastic sister, Mattias and Kristin, hand made silver bracelet and a silver necklace in the form of a tiny box to have around my neck - to keep aphrodisiactic drugs in of course...Lovely candles, ceramics, jewel-colored sugar for my home...and ummm..what more...YES! two gift cards, to go shopping before I go back to the States - for more books and CD:s of course....after all the partying and cleaning up (my loveliest and nicest ex, Morten helped me, and his sweet girlfriend Magda, Sniss and her beau for the evening helped a bit too)...After all that, when I a normal person would relax and go sleep or something....I went back to THE EGG.
There have never been a more depressing moment to start over again. And everything on the fucking internet seemed depressing and nasty that weekend. So I guess it came as no surprise when the internet and my computer died on me again.
Come monday I had to call my professor, telling him I wouldn't make the dead line (tuesday was the examinations on the papers, the thesis pro-memoriam with attached scientific problem definitions), luckily, since he knows me, he believed me and said I should do my very best to e-mail it to him and the four other ppl involved during monday night.
So I went to my membership internet café. Let me just tell you that the staff there was wonderful! They served me sandwiches and diet coke, they gave me an almost private room with the best computer, and hushed at the teenage boys coming in to play games after school etc etc. I owe them big time.
Late monday night, after my Internet and computer, (after a tedious support story) was on again, and after me having a breakdown and crying on the telephone shoulder of
northernveil, I finally sent a quite shitty version (compared to the first one) of the egg to my professor and my four classmates (there's only five of us on this level).Come tuesday I was a zombie. During the hearing I sat and stared at thin air in front of me, being gently nudged by Per, my fellow archivist researcher, whenever I needed to say something, and even my professor was quite understanding. "You look like you've been through hell" he said - meaning this to sound nice.
Ah well, this is the story I'll laugh at in a few years. Maybe.
But at least, as a small comfort: there are as many decent people as assholes out there
even cowardly ex fiancees can grow some balls
my friends rock
my professor and fellow researchers rock
I might become a crappy archivist
I'll soon be under the chin of my geek again
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 01:36 am (UTC)Even this passed. And, yes, you might smile at this weekend in the future, but it was hell for you. And you got through it.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 02:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 01:52 am (UTC)Sweet rest to you.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 02:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 02:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 01:55 am (UTC)*supermegahuggles!*
no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 02:30 pm (UTC)But it was great to see you guys, and I'm still touched by your efforts to help me...
no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 12:51 pm (UTC)*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 02:32 pm (UTC)I'll ask northern this weekend if you give me heads up!
no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 10:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 10:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-01 09:44 am (UTC)Thursday then, will be fun!