Moving day

[seal]

I'm sitting among all the boxes here eating beef jerky for breakfast. I'm contemplating going half vegetarian, but just contemplating, not deciding. I think the best moments to think about these things is when you actually indulge in the things you like but may give up. Red meat in my case, I don't think I would want to give up chicken or fresh tuna and seafood.

In the north of Sweden - those regions commonly called "Northland", they eat jerky made of reindeer and moose, they take dried pieces of it and dip them in hard boiled thin coffee and chew, getting both the salt and the caffeine on their hikes. They also have a form of cottage cheese made of goats milk, it melts easily into the coffee, providing some dairy. Sounds odd and vaguely disgusting eh?
For some reason I can't stop thinking about how eating out or giving head to a person with this diet would taste. I'm not particularly squeamish, but it does sound better with a vegetarian. Good thing I don't drink coffee.

This is my last day here, my gypsy life continues, and it's odd to think that I for years had a steady home, with furniture, and kitchen gadgets and art (and a fiancee).
I sold and gave so many things away. Whole moving trucks with things. What's left are necessities and some personal things.
The paintings Plastic sister gave me (one with a personal dedication written on it), thousands of books in storage, I didn't give those away, my comics and graphic novels - the one thing I still collect, some music and my computer. That's all, the rest is expendable. The tv goes back to the store tomorrow, B-man will get my nicest plants, Morten got my nicer furniture, the red velvet armchairs and the few antiques. If I ever have such a home again, he'll give it back, but for now it's his.

I don't miss things, I miss stability, and yet there is a fear of starting to build again, but deep down I'm a builder, the urge to create something lasting is strong. I'm trying to remind myself that I'm creating on the inside instead, I'm learning things, expanding my education, and hopefully this also has some lasting value.

There are many mornings I wake up and don't know where I am, and nights where I dreamed about the many places I have lived in. It's not bad or traumatic though, I imagine it's the same way for most people who have been moving around a lot.

Time to quit procrastinating and git to work.

Comments

[bummble.livejournal.com]

Know what you mean about the missing stability - although I'm sort of suffering from the opposite right now.

I must have missed it, but are you moving to a nice place/for a nice reason? Or is it of necessity?

[sealwhiskers.livejournal.com]

It's a necessity, but it's a little nice too, since the two guys I'm gonna share space with are really good ppl. One is an old friend of mine, the bureaucrat with a mild case of Tourettes syndrome, ratzinger, and the other, Kent, has lived there for a long time and is a sci-fi, left wing computer geek :)
Besides, it's gonna be a bit cheaper, and I need to cut my costs until I know how my life is gonna unfold.
I think I wrote a bit about it a few posts back, but that might actually have been when you were on a bit of a computer pause in your life... ;)

[thesidhe.livejournal.com]

*hug*

[sealwhiskers.livejournal.com]

Thank you honey. I know these type of thoughts open up a fresh wound for you, and that you are perhaps even more of a builder than me.
I actually got a phobia for building and owning after my change of life, it was/is all self-chosen, and what I feel now is perhaps the careful and slow change back into building mode. I will never build in the same smug complacent way (yes, that was what I became), but try to stay focused and do the building in a more healthy and secure way.
But I don't think you have/had the same issues at all. I think you will build and create again very soon, if not already.
*Hugs back*

[zombienought.livejournal.com]

When I went vegetarian, I seem to have lost
a permanent 20 pounds. I still miss cheese-
steak and burritos, though. I could tell,
while between the legs of one of my exes,
when she had gone to her parents and eaten
meat.

I've accrued so much *crap* in the past two
years. I used to carry only the minimum with
me, and I left a lot of stuff in Toronto,
even. But now I have a nice table and chairs,
a good desk, a food processor, an electric
kettle, a big television, all sorts of gaming
consoles...bleh.

[sealwhiskers.livejournal.com]

heh, I remember one of the few chats we ever had time for, and we talked about how ppl taste, among other things. :)
I tend to agree that vegetarians taste a little better, but on the whole the difference is not that big for me, the taste tends to rather go bad when someone smokes a lot or drinks a lot of coffee.

[zombienought.livejournal.com]

I've certainly noticed more crotchal odour
with cigarette smokers, but I've not been
able to determine if that's just a hygeine
problem. :)

Coffee makes my urine smell like coffee.
:(

[nixenji.livejournal.com]

Hope it's going well with the moving. I'd help you if I wasn't so damn busy with the same shit myself.
I agree that it's stressful with not having a stable home to live in. I hope you get comfy in your new home and I hope I can get some rest in mine too. ;)

[sealwhiskers.livejournal.com]

Thanks, and good luck with the dog.

[feg.livejournal.com]

I understand you very well =))
mooving constantly as well. when I was a child, I used to ream to move to another house, but we never did that. and now I'm moving so often =)) it's a kind of compensation, probably.

[sealwhiskers.livejournal.com]

Well, I started moving in my late teens, when I left my childhood home. But then and well into my early twenties I moved a lot. Perhaps it's like this disease you catch, and it's hard to get rid of it...
I recommend for you, a steady partner of some sort, to buy kitchen gadgets with, this is a fast remedy to the virus...but, unfortunately it doesn't solve the common problems in life as well... ;)

[feg.livejournal.com]

yes, it doesn't =))
recently I've parted with my partner - didn't manage to create any steadiness, and there was an argument (pretty stupid) about a bathroom rug. actually, it was never used in the bathroom, but I used it to do yoga. I bought it specifically for this purpose. and he didn't let me take it, saying he likes it a lot. so I have to look for a new one.
but that's not much to the point. I like buying different house things, and it makes moving so difficult...

[feg.livejournal.com]

ah, started to think about a mobile home =)))