(no subject)

It has been quite a while since I wrote something of consequence, I have been both reluctant and busy.
Now, so much has happened, it's not easy to catch up, it's enough that I'm such a LJ-geek that I sit down and read all my friends posts for the past week, even though it takes me a few hours.
In the two weeks that have gone by, in no particular order, I have:

Realized exactly just how much I have to accomplish before the beginning of June (the equivalent of another minor thesis!)and felt the usual chilling doubts about my capacity.

Received commendatory remarks about my internship, and the promise of a letter of recommendation in two languages!

Suffered the fear of change, and smothered my close ones with the effects of that fear.

Worked - shitloads.

Felt the effects of a not quite new but nevertheless big disappointment in a friendship.

Felt warmth and gratitude to wards various people.

Been traveling the south of Sweden with a few close ones, visiting an old friend and my old saving angel Christel.
If I would have to mention one person who "saved" me when I grew up, I'd say it was her, without her interventions and efforts I would have been much worse off.

And now I'm home, missing my geek, who is on a plane home to the States. I'm about to pack the last of my belongings, because tomorrow I move, and the day after tomorrow I clean this place out together with B-man and ratzinger.
Yes, I'm still stressed, I'm still afraid of change and of not measuring up to it all, of people's bizarre theories about life and how you go about living it.

Starting something new is no big deal, anyone can do it.
It's continuing with it when it's not new, when it's hard, that is the trick.
But I'll manage. Being a coward is not much fun either.