advice with line breaks
Feb. 28th, 2004 08:47 amI have re-used a phrase from another poem of mine, but otherwise this one is new to English language.
If anyone has some advice about my line breaks (or anything else for that matter), I'd appreciate it. I suck at line breaks.
coiling around the ache
like a lizard
around a fragile egg
she sucks out the fake
gold quick emotional fix
and leaves the hard work nourishment
to rot
and then she takes her burden
on her lap
and strokes it softly
until she forgets what it is made of
If anyone has some advice about my line breaks (or anything else for that matter), I'd appreciate it. I suck at line breaks.
coiling around the ache
like a lizard
around a fragile egg
she sucks out the fake
gold quick emotional fix
and leaves the hard work nourishment
to rot
and then she takes her burden
on her lap
and strokes it softly
until she forgets what it is made of