Some monday morning's bad weather can almost be a comfort, oddly enough. Like today..nasty wind and a lot of wet snow falling continuously.
This is a day when the rawness of life scares me. It feels heavy and frightening, but bearable in the end I guess.
I have changed. There have been mornings when such feelings and dreams that I have had would leave me with quite blunter tools to face the day. And perhaps I would'nt even face it to the fullest.
I still feel oddly sad for, and about a friend of mine, who's sister's family (as close as her own family to her in many ways) is having a hard change. It seems the husband/dad in that family is leaving them for another person. At least he seems to be leaving a well known structure behind him for something else.
I don't know these people well at all, but it still saddens me, and I know this friend of mine is sad as well, but her and mine situation seems to be one that makes it impossibly hard to express something and be read the right way.
I'm still pondering what to do.
Yes, friendship is odd sometimes, and in this particular case it involves a couple of ppl actually. Constellations that have changed places a number of times.
I just don't want to enter a situation again where what I do or say is over analyzed or analyzed in a (in my opinion) whacked way. It makes me so tired and drained. The two ppl taking me through such rides the past year are dear to me, but perhaps they don't understand that I'm just not whatever they seem to think I am/was.
Although this is a situation where doing the right thing that your heart tells you, is more important than how one is viewed I guess.
And what do I know anyway...(that is the feeling this monday gives me!)
This is a day when the rawness of life scares me. It feels heavy and frightening, but bearable in the end I guess.
I have changed. There have been mornings when such feelings and dreams that I have had would leave me with quite blunter tools to face the day. And perhaps I would'nt even face it to the fullest.
I still feel oddly sad for, and about a friend of mine, who's sister's family (as close as her own family to her in many ways) is having a hard change. It seems the husband/dad in that family is leaving them for another person. At least he seems to be leaving a well known structure behind him for something else.
I don't know these people well at all, but it still saddens me, and I know this friend of mine is sad as well, but her and mine situation seems to be one that makes it impossibly hard to express something and be read the right way.
I'm still pondering what to do.
Yes, friendship is odd sometimes, and in this particular case it involves a couple of ppl actually. Constellations that have changed places a number of times.
I just don't want to enter a situation again where what I do or say is over analyzed or analyzed in a (in my opinion) whacked way. It makes me so tired and drained. The two ppl taking me through such rides the past year are dear to me, but perhaps they don't understand that I'm just not whatever they seem to think I am/was.
Although this is a situation where doing the right thing that your heart tells you, is more important than how one is viewed I guess.
And what do I know anyway...(that is the feeling this monday gives me!)