One thing with being a self pronounced loser is that you can never really lose. Can't do something that's already done.
Is'nt it just the safest way to live like that? Everything is covered, and you're all set. Just lean back and moan a bit from time to time, honing your martyrdom.
I look around at all the faces, many younger than me, and actually plenty older than me also...and I wonder, is there any other that feel like he or she is a trainee in the great circle of humanity? Not just insecure, but..you know, feeling like being invited as the last one to the party with the silent understanding of we'll give her this chance to show if she can behave herself and blend in among the other kids...
And what if I blow this chance?
The hard thing with starting a road is that you can not really just get off it. It's not that simple. You can't just go back to a previous existence, not when you have really started. (and I'm not talking about just an education here, but many things connected, creating a way of living and looking at things).
Does anyone else feel that he/she's too light for the burden?
Will my soul weigh less than a feather? to put it more dramatically.
There was actually a time when I was a kid, when I did a good imitation of courage, good enough to actually be true on rare occasions. If you are a huge fan of valor, then you can sometimes learn it's ways good enough to fake it now and again. Also, you know how to avoid the more common traps of cowardice. But if there's anything I have learned with age, then it is that for every way you overcome a weakness, several new, and sometimes hidden ways of being weak create themselves, like small tributaries to the great stream.
The small places with cover from the crossfire are meant for visits only, not to be lived in.
Blood is really quite red, and not beige.
and I have a wrinkle between my eyes, above the nose, now I must try to live up to it.
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