Sophies choice

I'm giving myself grief.
A friend of mine had a locked LJ entry pondering pet issues. She's thinking about getting a dog and recently heard from another friend that we both know, who's trying to give away her cat, because of a *very* new bf she's got (and whom she got together with only days after the previous one, and in a kind of rebound way..)
My friend with the LJ entry asked me a question in that post, about a choice I once made, and if I'd make the same one today. Yesterday I was unable to log onto LJ, so not until today could I view that post and all the answers she'd already received.

Many write that they would never give away their pet because of "some guy" - a partner.
More than one compare having a pet to a child.

Great.

I would therefore give away my kids if I had any, for some guy. (good thing I won't be able to make that choice ever..)
I'm irresponsible and cold hearted.
The friend with the post did'nt mean it like that at all. I know this. It was an honest question, and I did my best to answer it. Those other ppl answering..most of them don't know me or the context to my choice at all...
So why do I bother?
I'm not feeling guilty, I'd do the same choice again under those sircumstances...
But it was a really hard choice, and it left wounds and scars.

I wonder how the fuck ppl can be so sure about tough life situations. I envy them. I'm not sure about many things at all.
Perhaps they are all better in some way, more clear and clever.

My situation was: Two cats that I loved, shared custody with an ex partner (lived together for a few years), but then both my ex partner and me, simultaneously finding new partners with grave cat allergies. I was very much in love, and he did love me back, in those days. It was'nt a fling, we'd known eachother for some time. I did think that was the big one, for the first time in my life I thought that. So..yeah..long term thoughts.
And therefore I took my time finding my four footed friends a good home. A year, and some of that time I payed a good friend for having them, and I visited them often.
I wanted to give them a better home than the one they'd left, a house and outdoor garden possibilities, and thanks to stardream42 and her parents I found just that (a friend of theirs).
I would never have put them to sleep.
I would never have given them a bad home.
I would have looked for several years..all the time, until I found something.
I have been asked many times today, when my 6 year long relationship with my ex fiancee (yeah, the allergic guy)is over, why I don't get another pet. My answer is not because I'm fickle, and find new guys all the time, and then would easily ditch the pet. My answer is: because life is not simple, one never knows what happens, and some choices gives you grey hairs and scars inside.
I still hope to be in a situation in my life some day, when I will feel secure enough to take care of a pet again.

But I did choose a human partner in the end, after having the pistol to my head, having to choose.

So I guess that makes me human.

Does that mean that I did'nt love my cats?

Does that mean that I'm unfit to have children?

I guess that some ppl perhaps would think that.

Me..I just don't wish for anyone to ever have to make a choice.
It's easiest that way, both in life and with opinions.

Now I'm gonna continue my ridiculous crying and beating my fist into a pulp.