It depends on what you're going for, though. I read it as "She sucks out the fake" [which is a] "gold quick emotional fix." And that second line has a nice internal rhyme to it with some harsh consonants.
I'm not sure about the title, though. It definitely helps clarify the poem some, and makes for a very good visual, so perhaps it's what you're looking for. The more I think about it, the more I like it, but there's something odd about it. Maybe since that's not a common term in English?
I had no idea that yolks were the least nutritious part of an egg. They're my favourite part.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2004-04-21 03:15 pm (UTC)she sucks out the fake
gold quick emotional fix
It depends on what you're going for,
though. I read it as "She sucks out
the fake" [which is a] "gold quick
emotional fix." And that second line
has a nice internal rhyme to it with
some harsh consonants.
I'm not sure about the title, though.
It definitely helps clarify the poem
some, and makes for a very good visual,
so perhaps it's what you're looking for.
The more I think about it, the more I
like it, but there's something odd about
it. Maybe since that's not a common term
in English?
I had no idea that yolks were the least
nutritious part of an egg. They're my
favourite part.