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I'm baking an ass-shaped pie
Feb. 13th, 2007 02:10 pmBut at least it's Kim Basinger's ass from 9 1/2 Weeks. Instead of ignoring V-day, like I've done for 96% of my life, I'm baking two juicy buns attached together with a cellulite crust, and with black berries (eew, the extended metaphor) inside. I'm fairly sure the guy I'm doing this for won't see this post, since he'll be too busy to go on LJ for days and days to come.
If we saw all hearts as asses the world would be more interesting, and if we saw asses as hearts, the prejudice against big people would get a nice face-lift.
So, me and the geek were walking in the store the other day, and with careful comment droppings I let him understand that I do NOT want chocolate this year, because if I get the damn valentine chocolate asses or roses or whatever shape they have, I won't be able to resist eating it, not if it's spreading its legs like that under my nose. So instead we saw this parade of Disney barbie-dolls shaped like all the different princesses from the Disney movies and I pointed at Snow White and said: "I want her for V-day". I know I should have wanted Ariel, since she's a red head and all, but she looks like such a sissy (and the REAL little mermaid didn't have red hair, I'm sad to say), and they didn't have Yasmine. I'm incredibly interested in princesses nowadays, because I'm planning a children's book for girls about different kinds of princesses, so, has anyone felt attached to any kind of princess ever? And could you share why?
For the record, I'm counting the "poor and brave orphan girl" who scores big in life as a form of archetypal princess too.
If I wanted to share some love on V-day it would be to tell people on my f-list which book they remind me of, if you want me to do so, HOLLER! For the love of books if nothing else.
Gotta scram now, as princesses go, my working day reminds mostly of the girl's in Rumpelstiltskin, I'm not spinning gold etc etc, but I'm rolling in judicial dust against the clock.
If we saw all hearts as asses the world would be more interesting, and if we saw asses as hearts, the prejudice against big people would get a nice face-lift.
So, me and the geek were walking in the store the other day, and with careful comment droppings I let him understand that I do NOT want chocolate this year, because if I get the damn valentine chocolate asses or roses or whatever shape they have, I won't be able to resist eating it, not if it's spreading its legs like that under my nose. So instead we saw this parade of Disney barbie-dolls shaped like all the different princesses from the Disney movies and I pointed at Snow White and said: "I want her for V-day". I know I should have wanted Ariel, since she's a red head and all, but she looks like such a sissy (and the REAL little mermaid didn't have red hair, I'm sad to say), and they didn't have Yasmine. I'm incredibly interested in princesses nowadays, because I'm planning a children's book for girls about different kinds of princesses, so, has anyone felt attached to any kind of princess ever? And could you share why?
For the record, I'm counting the "poor and brave orphan girl" who scores big in life as a form of archetypal princess too.
If I wanted to share some love on V-day it would be to tell people on my f-list which book they remind me of, if you want me to do so, HOLLER! For the love of books if nothing else.
Gotta scram now, as princesses go, my working day reminds mostly of the girl's in Rumpelstiltskin, I'm not spinning gold etc etc, but I'm rolling in judicial dust against the clock.
