People are People so why should it be..you and I should get along so aawfuully

Often I can't see people as People on the internet.
Especially not if they are:

1)mostly aggressive
2)Extremely detached and ironic
3)Hip-Extreme

I'm a closet internet sociopath who would snuff them out and eat their livers with a fine Chianti or something.

No really. Not real people. It's frustrating to treat them as such. Kind of like talking to your toaster about your love life.

I'm going to a wedding today, and my feet are too broad. Not big, just short and wide, like a duck.

I'm duck-feet and going in sandals with open heels. I mourn my rep already, because people might totally ignore the cute bride and point fingers at that duck-feet girl with mismatched jewelry instead, in a HA-HA-not-so-funny-for-me way.

I hope I get drinks early in the day, hopefully in church.

Edit: On second thought, I love the idea of a wedding where the guests act all weird. Instead of shedding sentimental tears and smiling pleasantly they point finger and laugh in a surreal nightmarish way at one of the guests. Like crows or hyenas, and the wedding ends in a lynching whith tar and feathers instead of this beautiful rite of passage it's supposed to be.

yea. Drinks.