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Fake grown-up fruit (cake) mix
Aug. 10th, 2004 02:58 pmToday I dressed up as a grown up, put all my dollies and model space ships in a locker and walked the streets of an unfamiliar capital pretending to be a normal woman.
I stood with my red pony tail, scratching my sandal clad toe in front of the big house containing The State Archives of Colorado and wondered if I was dressed appropriately - after all, I had no suit or skirt.
I was about to meet a man I had only seen on the front of The State Archives website, and he had worked with documentation and document management in Nam goddammit!
I visited the ladies restroom several times - I was two hours early (because I don't, understand the concept of time...) and the library coffee shop personnel grew tired of my solitary early morning presence. (they could not gossip about their boss as easily as other mornings)
I shook hands with the Head Archivist and talked about degrees, goals and expectations of internship. He asked me about me and smiled when I used the word geek (referring to me not necessarily wanting to work with historical archives, because all the other geeks were fighting for the chairs in that area).
Then he said that he was comfortable with me (whatever that means!) and both he and Lance wanted me, but it was ultimately not up to them (what the f...?) but to the lady whom I would be assisting and who could train me, and she was still on vacation. In two weeks I will know.
And then I went peeing again, but still as a grown up, after exiting the archives.
I walked the central core of Denver with a map and got to know it better, I hung out in a Korean fast food place and had a brief lunch, chatting with another dressed up grown-up with secret space ships in his closet, and then I took the bus back to Boulder and didn't even blink an eye when there was a brief fight on one of the bus stops between a young male and an older alpha male (the chauffeur).
I did think about Harry Potter when we passed Broomfield (it's such a neat name, don'tya think?), but I hid my geekdom behind my sullen brow.
When I came home I had to have milk and biscuits pronto. And big socks - even though it's still summer.
Someone on my friendslist posted an entertaining rant about ex:s and how some of them want to show off their new spouses...kind of like a new car model symbolizing the excellence of ones LIFE.
This is also a very grown up game that I don't understand...just as puzzling as the importance of pretending to be friends with your ex even though you're kind of not.
With some ex:s there is a friendship spark and with some there is just posing.
I bet I got plenty of grown-up brownie points when I met my last ex:s "new" spouse in the stairway in May and had to hug her because she started crying.
I *hate* hugging someone I don't care much about...but she was just...as she always is..so extremely passively needy and pushy, sucking energy into her vortex.
She said that she felt better afterwards and me, I was just drained. My ex came and thanked me, I'm not sure I exactly want to know for what...but when I remember her red brimmed staring needy eyes, her very being still wanting and wanting things, needing help, energy, affirmation, life - and just sucking and sucking, leaving passivity in return...I just shudder.
Oh no, fuck adulthood. It's not for me.
I stood with my red pony tail, scratching my sandal clad toe in front of the big house containing The State Archives of Colorado and wondered if I was dressed appropriately - after all, I had no suit or skirt.
I was about to meet a man I had only seen on the front of The State Archives website, and he had worked with documentation and document management in Nam goddammit!
I visited the ladies restroom several times - I was two hours early (because I don't, understand the concept of time...) and the library coffee shop personnel grew tired of my solitary early morning presence. (they could not gossip about their boss as easily as other mornings)
I shook hands with the Head Archivist and talked about degrees, goals and expectations of internship. He asked me about me and smiled when I used the word geek (referring to me not necessarily wanting to work with historical archives, because all the other geeks were fighting for the chairs in that area).
Then he said that he was comfortable with me (whatever that means!) and both he and Lance wanted me, but it was ultimately not up to them (what the f...?) but to the lady whom I would be assisting and who could train me, and she was still on vacation. In two weeks I will know.
And then I went peeing again, but still as a grown up, after exiting the archives.
I walked the central core of Denver with a map and got to know it better, I hung out in a Korean fast food place and had a brief lunch, chatting with another dressed up grown-up with secret space ships in his closet, and then I took the bus back to Boulder and didn't even blink an eye when there was a brief fight on one of the bus stops between a young male and an older alpha male (the chauffeur).
I did think about Harry Potter when we passed Broomfield (it's such a neat name, don'tya think?), but I hid my geekdom behind my sullen brow.
When I came home I had to have milk and biscuits pronto. And big socks - even though it's still summer.
Someone on my friendslist posted an entertaining rant about ex:s and how some of them want to show off their new spouses...kind of like a new car model symbolizing the excellence of ones LIFE.
This is also a very grown up game that I don't understand...just as puzzling as the importance of pretending to be friends with your ex even though you're kind of not.
With some ex:s there is a friendship spark and with some there is just posing.
I bet I got plenty of grown-up brownie points when I met my last ex:s "new" spouse in the stairway in May and had to hug her because she started crying.
I *hate* hugging someone I don't care much about...but she was just...as she always is..so extremely passively needy and pushy, sucking energy into her vortex.
She said that she felt better afterwards and me, I was just drained. My ex came and thanked me, I'm not sure I exactly want to know for what...but when I remember her red brimmed staring needy eyes, her very being still wanting and wanting things, needing help, energy, affirmation, life - and just sucking and sucking, leaving passivity in return...I just shudder.
Oh no, fuck adulthood. It's not for me.
