(no subject)

Some ppl have called. They don't know what to do new years eve. I am invited to two things. One I definitely don't wanna go to, the other is kind of quiet with v. nice old friends, I was thinking of dropping buy and talk a little, but then move on. (I do love them, but spending the whole new years eve with mostly family ppl would make me restless). Another option I was seriously considering, was to make loads of thai food, have some beer and vodka drinks available and have those 6-7 ppl around that I hang out with mostly anyway, we have a nice evening and after midnight we just go over to the Uplands bar and meet others we know and wish happy new year. But then these other ppl phoned..and suddenly I feel pressure. I don't have the money to have a party, and I know Boman doesn't want to have a full blown party here.
And also this hurts: My ex is invited to a big dinner thing (with his new gf) and I'm not. And we both know the couple having the dinner thing. I've done a lot of fun projects with Bjorn for the society, and Lena wanted me to work out with her, but evidently you have to have a boyfriend in order to sit at their dinner table. Yes. I've heard of shit like this, but never experienced it before. I have many flaws, but never in my entire life, with any boyfriend or as a singleton have I looked on my friends and acquaintances as anything else than individuals. I am not so upset over this as it may seem in this journal, but still..mankind is a stupid and insecure race..and I'm tired again. Anyone up for a game of cards or maybe a Tekken marathon on new years?