Death and rebirth part 1

My character on the White wolf roleplaying chat is now really really declared dead...I am tired of the whole matter right now, but I have had emotions from incredulous and vaguely amused up to actual anger and frustration at the amount of stupidity and lack of credibility in the Storytellers (ST:S) behavior. My lovely and complex character Robyn Soames is dead without even a death scene..just some random dice rolls done by some ignorant modifier when I wasn't even on line! And It was such great fun roleplaying again. At first it felt just like when one walks in a new pair of Docs, it hurts, you don't walk very fast and bleed on the inside, but you have a feeling they are gonna last for a long while and you like how they look. And then the hurting stops and you walk just fine...the fun begins and a confident walk replaces the limping. Now I have to start all over again...::sighs:: If this new character I'm gonna make dies right away on me, I think I'll quit, not matter how fun it is, it may just not be worth all the disappointment.
And I *am* aware of how vaguely disturbed it may look to have so many feelings invested in something that's not for real...but it is creative, and I really don't understand people that don't feel when they do creative things. I'll risk to say that I make good characters and not paper dolls, and that I play them well, at least that's the response I've had from fellow players...oh well..Will start pondering on a new concept now.