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Forget anything I've ever said to try and pick you up on a bad day, THIS will do the trick, guaranteed!

Got it from [livejournal.com profile] jaysummers, and since embedding is disabled, you'll have to CLICK THIS LINK

It's work safe, it's completely safe for anything, and the safest thing about it is that you'll feel better after watching it! ZOMG, BLOODY FANTASTIC!!
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The Library and Information Sciences Professor who I've been phone messaging and email tagging with for 2 months FINALLY acknowledged my existence last week. I had to inject an academic MANSERVANT of hers to get her attention. After talking with her directly on the phone without getting an appointment, after talking to her superior, who referred me to her, on the phone, without getting an appointment, after emailing with her, without getting an appointment, I was getting rather desperate, and I knew that last admission dates for fall semester were approaching rapidly. I was to the point where I started to flirt with the idea of camping outside her office door when the Geek told me to not visit her directly, because the chance of actually running in to her in person was close to minimal and not worth the commute to Denver. Instead he told me to find a number to her administrative person. Really? I said. Do I need that when I have her direct number and have communicated with her directly already? Yes, he said.

Okay, so I did some detective work on line, called a few peons in the faculty and got my hands on Academialady's manservant's phone number! At first he was very suspicious of me. WHY did I need to meet with her? (I explained that my degree needed to be reviewed in order to determine if I really needed to take additional classes to be able to call myself a certain title in the US that I already call myself in Sweden) after my explanation he was miffed and asked me WHY he hadn't heard about this!? (I explained that it had been an affair between his mistress and the head of the faculty with whom I'd spoken directly) After that explanation which was met with acceptance, he was fairly benevolent and helpful, taking my information and informing me that, yes indeed, we were in the 11th hour for a meeting, or decisions for fall semester would be made without my involvement.

So the academic manservant took my info, didn't waste any time, but sent an email (including me in it) in which he called me "potential student" (with potential money to spend on their bleedin' school), and I promptly got an email back from Academiclady with a date and a time for a meeting.

It's like magic, just go through the butler! Now my only worry is that they'll want to rip me off and force me to take classes I've already taken. My degree is a good one, and I've already worked as an archivist without a problem. I have every class and academic hour from Sweden spelled out in English for her, and signed by my University, I have letters of recommendation from Westlaw and the Colorado State Archives, but they may still not deem me good enough. If they want me to take more than 5 classes I'll go back to Sweden for a while rather than do it in Denver. It's cheaper and faster and just as efficient. No way I'm taking a whole 2 year program in the US.
Cross your fingers for me, I'm going in for that meeting tomorrow!

A few days ago I saw a raccoon for the first time! Now, I know all you Americans are yawning and thinking "so what?" but..but..but, we don't have them in Europe, and they are so fricking adorable! (insert time for Americans to say: what?? those dumpster-diving, vermin assholes are adorable??)
Anyway, the Geek went out to the dumpster belonging to our condo complex and came back telling me that there was a big raccoon having a party in the dumpster. I gave up a shrill girly scream and dived for my camera leaving the Geek quite stunned behind.
Approaching the dumpster I heard scratching and munching sounds and I saw his little bandit face!!
He was quite big, bigger than an average cat certainly and he locked eyes with me for many seconds, staring and sort of asking me to please not take his yummies away. As I came closer, he dropped his banana and dived for hiding, so I could only take a picture of this little cute bastard giving me the silent treatment and a serious ostrich act.

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Haven't you ever seen a raccoon?? asked the astonished Geek when I came back in, and I had to inform him that they are natives to the Americas, and while I've seen coyotes and even a black bear, I've not seen these little buggers.
It was quite odd to have this big boy out scavenging in broad sunny daylight though, since they apparently are mainly nocturnal. I know from books I've read about them that they are fairly smart and that hunting them used to be an artform in the old west, because of their smartness, and because of their gorgeous tails.

I'm still sad I couldn't get his face on picture, it was so adorable. A few hours later, I went and checked the dumpster again, and he was still there, in almost the same position, hiding his head. I wonder if I've scarred the poor fellow for life...
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Maybe I'll be back writing on LJ one day, when I don't have a virus or a head cold or laryngitis, or blocked sinus syndrome or something else that is draining me and making my life even more blah than it is.

If I was prone to the (much hated) mysterious, ambivalent livejournal one-liner post, I'd have several posted during these weeks. Like: "I give up" or: "oh no, not again" or: "what, in that color??"

But I will not do that to anyone, it's the blog version of cock tease or pussy tickle.

(yes, I'm sick again, if anyone wonders, let's not talk about it at all, it isn't anything interesting)

Instead: Let's vote on the best lj one-liner post ever, I'll give a few suggestions, and if you feel up for it, add on in the comments, and I might make a poll.

Mysterious asshole one-liner posts on livejournal we hate/love most, Suggestions:

1) "The End" (very dramatic and dystopian, make me wanna use cymbals)

2) "I give up" (such a potent variable, makes you think without getting anything for it)

3) "This day sucked" (the ultimate cock teaser, who the hell doesn't want to know how anyone's day sucked?)

4) "I'm ready to fuck someone up" (Even more so than the previous one, we really really want to know who our friends want to fuck up and why)

5) "I slept with him/her" (If you write this, you are born to sit in bars and flaunt your sexuality without ever taking anyone home)

6) "I hate my life" (not only is this a one-liner, it's also criminally boring, whine about your life with some thorough indignity, that's what blogs are for)

7) "Life can be so unfair" (this is an evil one. As friends we get our adrenaline pumping, who has been unfair to you, why?? We want to FIGHT FOR JUSTICE for you, but you sluttily deprive us of the privilege)

8) "It's all gonna change now" (If you're not Obama, then stop, just stop)

9) "Just watch me" (yeah..we are, and..??)

10) "How did this happen?" (My guess is that it happened because you pussytickled too many of your LJ friends at the same time)


Example of good one liners:


What, in that color??

If I had a sausage I would do it

I'm calling Jessica Biel's stylist

That dress shouldn't be legal

I know how long his penis is just by looking at his
denim crotch

Bacon boobs!

I'm changing religion

I'm not really his father

When I dance I think of Daniel Craig in a kilt

She got crabs but I didn't!!



And these are just the ones I came up with on the fly when I was sick, think what potential there really is in the one-liner when you climb out of your own arse and make something creative with them.
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Apparently I have laryngitis (and dryness eczema on my legs)

Thank god for antibiotics and coughing syrup with codeine in it.

Sooon, soooon I'll be able to sing the opera again, or at least talk with someone on the phone!
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3 weeks with this bug. 3 FRIGGING WEEKS!
I literally have no voice, if I drink gallons of hot tea, I can talk in hoarse exhales for half an hour. It sounds dreadful, and it's been so long.
Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment...he'd better take me seriously and give me drugs, but for some reason I'm afraid he'll blow me off and tell me to REST. If I rest more, I'll become an inanimate object. I almost hope it's pneumonia, because that's treatable and understandable.

Anyways, I've done that 25 thing meme that goes around here and on facebook. God I sound critical and stingy in my opinions, still, I'd rather have that than some meek alternative. The meek will NOT inherit the earth, not if I have anything to say about it. Of course I'd have to have a VOICE to say anything about anything.

In addition to the people I tagged on facebook, and who I hope will cross-post, I tag [livejournal.com profile] pierson, [livejournal.com profile] northernveil, [livejournal.com profile] tommdroid, [livejournal.com profile] jlsjlsjls, [livejournal.com profile] anotheranon, [livejournal.com profile] mojodragonfly, [livejournal.com profile] darquis, [livejournal.com profile] dust_rat, [livejournal.com profile] tooticky, [livejournal.com profile] usuakari, [livejournal.com profile] zombienought, [livejournal.com profile] lazip, [livejournal.com profile] striver, [livejournal.com profile] yathin, [livejournal.com profile] cienna and [livejournal.com profile] piratejenny1. I loved to read what others wrote, but it was exhausting to write this.

Here goes:25 things about me )
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Yesterday I woke up, and for the first time since I got the plague (monday morning) I felt almost coherent. After sitting around feeling my body for a few minutes I was pleased and decided that I had no fever anymore, and although I still had no voice either, I was almost HEALED, and it was thus time for a SHOWER and a HAIR WASH.

The Geek said, really? (he was home half-day, only working with the Y-kids where he had no sick hours to boot. He was also much better than me, since he was 3 days ahead on the bug wars, from me)

Yes, really. Bravely I went into the shower and steamed my whole head. (for those without fairly long hair of the kind that can get heavy, I may explain that this isn't a great idea to do if you have a head cold or any other kind of related bug, carrying all that wetness on yourself for literally hours, and don't even get me started on what happens if you blow-dry it).

So, I steamed and steamed myself and it felt so damn sweeet. I was thinking good thoughts, how I would maybe make it in Colorado after all, in spite of the recession, what I should give away to charity next month, how nice the new trainer is, how paisley is an underrated pattern and how trusty ponies should be able to retire on fields of clover and babbling brooks.

I climbed out of the shower and dried as much as possible of myself, I even put on a bra, for the first time in 3 days.

Then came the vertigo, and everything clamped up in my chest, that I didn't know was there, came knocking and saying HEY, WTF, What about US!

I barely made it to my bed, and I whispered to the geek, with my non-existent voice: why am I dizzy, can't breathe and wanting to vomit?
And he answered something about the inner/outer ear and the congestion and how I still had a fever.
The last words I remembered from his answer was: This really is a very nasty bug.

I slept some, and when I woke up I cried real TEARS because the only thing in the whole wide world that I had any desire to eat was Chinese Hot & Sour Soup, and my innards were gnawing like hungry worms inside me. I knew that if I got that hot and sour soup I would be HAPPY and CURED, but there was no soup at home, and I cried over the brutality of a disinterested universe.

More half baked sleep. And water. For some reason I started to dream a bout coca cola fountains, REAL FOUNTAINS, not as in food-court fountain-drink fountains. Since I started with water and skipped soda, a few weeks back, soda had actually begun to not taste so good, the one or two times I'd taken a sip. But the bug had it otherwise in my dreams.

Towards afternoon I crawled out of bed and managed some fruit, with a bitter bitter resentment gnawing in me about the lack of H&S soup still. I tried working a bit on the book job, which was manageable in small doses, I went on facebook and started cleaning out all the fucking applications I had "invites" to since way back when. The fact that I was actually doing something on facebook was as clear a signal as any, that I wasn't being my own healthy self.
And obviously facebook wasn't good for me, because I felt nausea again after a while and had to crawl back in bed.

Back in bed I mourned my lack of books about fairy godmothers, unicorns, princesses and brave men with hearts of gold. The only thing awaiting me on my bedside was social realism about fucked up British families, fucked up WWII essays, fucked up Turkish societal allegories - everything written in beautiful prose, pretending to be fairy tale material, but leaving you with wanting to slit your wrists from the lack of H&S soup and unicorns.

In the end I found a Christmas present I'd forgotten about, because it had been hidden beneath all those books: Buffy the vampire Slayer, season 8, the graphic novel album, part 2.

Thank the fairies. It wasn't exactly what I needed - to be honest, it was a bit too anguished and realistic, but it would have to do.

When the Geek came home I told him that he had really hurt me, by not having any H&S soup, and we needed to talk about our relationship in seriousness. He agreed to that, and then we ate some fruit and watched a double episode of Bones, snuggling. Because frankly, who else am I going to snuggle with that has the same bacteria?

I went to bed and slept and woke up and realized that I'd slept with my bra still on - the one I'd put on after that fateful shower the day before. My hair was in a braid and still wet, but my voice is starting to sound again - the sound is dreadful, kinda like that dead woman burping in The Grudge, but at least it's there.
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All the independent movie theaters in Colorado are shockingly independent these days. They show such exquisitely independent movies of original depth as: Four Christmases, The Spirit and Bedime Stories. Some others like Milk or Slumdog Millionaire could be called a little more indie I suppose - if not for the fact that they are shown in all the normal mundane movie theaters.

The only thing making the Mayan in Denver different from any mundane AMC nowadays would be that you can take a drink there, and that the ceiling is prettier. But Benjamin Button seems to be as independent as it will go, apparently. God forbid anyone should speak a foreign language!(unless they are anime characters, then anything's forgiven).

It just smarts to hear all LJ people who've seen Let the Right one In, from Seattle to NY say how great it is, and when I browse CO indie movies I get this. Not a single indie movie I couldn't have seen anywhere, and quite a few fit for garbage.

Another part of this trend is that, since "Let the right one in" is so awesome, it must promptly be americanized. This means that a film about Swedish vampires, set in an eerie Swedish winter landscape, can not, no matter how many prizes it wins, or how many fabulous reviews it gets in the Washington Post, the Chicago Tribune or the LA Times, it cannot be shown in Denver - UNTIL MATT REEVES, who made MOTHERFUCKING CLOVERFIELD, MAKES THE MOVIE IN AMERICAN AND SETS IN IN LITTLETON COLORADO. Please, I wish I could kill him before he does it. But at least this will mean that Denver will most def. show the American version. Yay?
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I've had a number of dogs in my life who've made a deep impression on me, and I can't really see many common factors between them - except the fact that I loved them, and they were four legged canine carnivores.
I remember Bamse, the angry alpha mutt, shaped as a huge baguette with a plumy tail and a big dog's collie-like head (he was one third collie). He was probably my first dog love, he had an impressively dark Great Dane-bark, disliked children and joggers (representatives of the first group had tormented and tortured him when he was a pup, so that particular antagonism was understandable, but the joggers I think..just pissed him off in general). Bamse was not an easy dog, Christel, my foster mom/sister, who owned him went to all kinds of griefs with him..but he was fiercely smart and loyal and incredibly fun. Odd things about him: he was the only dog I've ever met who loved fireworks. On big holidays with fireworks, Christel always let him out and he was overjoyed equally by the big sparkly ones as by chasing the annoying and noisy crackers. Most other dogs faint or get hyper distressed by fireworks, but not him. He lived to be 18 years old, probably the oldest dog I've personally known.

Another dog to note was my childhood friend Lotta's friendly and chubby Foxterrier Sunday - an adorable and sweet tempered little girl, who most of the time looked like a mini sheep, and whom I once rescued from drowning in a fast moving spring-overflowing creek when I was a teenager.
[livejournal.com profile] kejn also had two dogs I loved over the years, Tanja, the Samoyed, a beautiful lady with an opera voice, who was shy but very patient and sweet natured once you got to know her, and Cassie, the Irish Wolf dog, who was gorgeous and impressive in all sorts of ways - I loved watching her run in the fields, she was like a force of nature.

Other favorite dogs later in my life would include [livejournal.com profile] jennixen's Kerry Blue terrier Axl, who's just the goofiest little goblin of a dog with a great sense of play and humor.

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and the brave and solemn little Italian greyhound Vinnie whom I dogsat many times, but who unfortunately died last year.

It was really great to get to know Nick and Chelsea ([livejournal.com profile] cacodaemonia) in 2007, not only were they awesome people living 5 minutes from me who liked the same rpgs and books as me, but also great animal lovers who decided to adopt two wonderful dogs. And I really did love their dogs, especially Guy the Greyhound, unfortunately I didn't get to spend enough time with these lovely critters, because the work market drove Chelsea and Nick out of Colorado, far away to Kentucky. Recently I learned, that the last of my favorite dogs passed on a week ago. Go read [livejournal.com profile] cacodaemonia's lovely Post about Guy the Greyhound and how he discovered how to become a dog again in the loving hands of really good people.

Anyone who wants to adopt a dog, or who've had dogs will probably be inspired by the read - just don't cry as I did, it will just make your face swell up.
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I dreamed last night that I only had 4 days left to live, and some of my friends were there and seemed to understand that this was it (even though I was perfectly healthy and looked like Jennifer Connelly), so we needed to do special things. For some reason, one of these special things was to find someones old stash of taped Swedish children shows and marathon watch them. And I was sad, but it felt huge too, and my old dead cat came to visit, as he does sometimes, and I told him; oh Nils, you're dead, so I know you haven't much time to stay, but I just need to use your fat belly as a pillow one more time.

Anyways, when I woke, I figured it was all a bit eerie, and what if there was something to that dream, yadda yadda etc etc. So what would be one good thing to do, if there was limited time left?


Gather a DRAGON ARMY of course!! I've always wanted to do it, and I found these dragons from China at World Market. Not very fancy, but cute anyway, and it being Christmas soon, I needed GIFTS that were easy to bring in a suitcase and above all, light.

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I haven't decided if they're having a conference, or if they're in formation preparing for the ultimate battle against the EVIL ARMY OF LESS CUTE ORNAMENTS.

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At world Market I also found SWEDISH CHRISTMAS SODA!

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If I only have 4 days to live I need to hurry and drink it all.


...on the other hand, later that night I also dreamed that the Geek was possessed by an arch-demon and we had the best sex we've ever had. Fair's fair, if one dream is true, the other one must be too. Death = best sex ever within 4 days.

If I live, the dragons will be coming with me to Sweden, all 17 of them, among other weird shit. I challenge them to open my bags in search of drugs, haha.
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* I love the word autumn more than the word fall, but fall is more usable

* The Elks are coming down from the mountains en masse, winter is coming

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* Is anyone else experiencing trouble with Yahoo mail? I've had my yahoo email for 6 years, and now I've been unable to log into my email for 2 days. I have another work related email addy, but this is irritating and disconcerting, since everyone and their dog uses my sealwhiskers account, and since I have a LOT of valuable data in there. I've written their support team, but no answer yet.

* The Russian Trojan that infected my computer a month ago is trying new methods to sneak into people's computers. Since I've read up on these guys, I know some of their incarnations, and the creepy thing with it is not only how vicious it is if you get it (NO anti-virus programs that I know of can beat it, I had to wipe my harddrive clean), the real creepy & vicious factor is how these Russian hackers have created whole websites that look legitimate in order to infect your computer. Right now for instance, they use the windows logo to try to sell something called "Security 09", an anti virus program that looks like a windows program and that will infect everything you have. They lurk around on perfectly normal websites that you visit, and then you get somewhat legitimate looking and windows logo'd security question from them.

* In nicer news, I met a long time LJ friend from Australia. The lovely [livejournal.com profile] alecto23 came to visit for a couple of days, and we dragged her around a lot, but she was very gracious in spite of this. In retrospect I should have cooked Swedish meatballs for her instead of serving up a junk-food orgy. It's funny how you, after being lj-friends for years and years, really feel like you know eachother to some extent, that you click. You then warn yourself that this perhaps will not be the case in real life, to not up the expectations, but then, when you meet, you realize she really IS an old friend! Certain steps that carve out a friendship have already been taken and the shortcut to the deep and personal is already there, in place. It's gratifying and fascinating.

* [livejournal.com profile] tooticky and [livejournal.com profile] usuakari, we thought about you guys a lot too. Apparently I need to get rich and go to Australia, soon. I'm on it.

* Today, might be the first true day of winter, we have a thin layer of snow here in Boulder, and it's been snowing even more up in the mountains.

* I'm going to Sweden for 2 weeks right after Thanksgiving. I'll be there between the 30th of November and the 15th of December. First Uppsala and then Skåne.
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Via [livejournal.com profile] liquid_siftings, for us geeks literate people with alternative tastes, some of my favorites:

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click here for more funny shit )
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I don't have to move!!!!

Now I can go back to my regular life-fail schedule, but proud to be a socialist toy-sharing idealist!
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via [livejournal.com profile] northernveil:

In Halloween times, apparently a Swedish Vampire movie has found its way to parts of America. It is based on a really great book with the same title: Let The Right One In. God, I wish the Denver Mayan would show it, but they'll probably show some Anime shit instead.
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Once again there are heavy (handed) attempts to link the word "socialism" to the word "liberal" among republicans and libertarians. It goes without saying that the first word is a cursing word and the second word is under construction to become a dirty word, if possible.

[livejournal.com profile] zombienought once said that the US is a libertarian paradise, and the sad part is that the libertarians don't even know it, they just bitch and moan about all that is wrong. To a degree I think he is absolutely right, and the degree varies depending on which state we are talking about. Certain states are definitely more paradiselike than other. Take a state that has a pro-gun, low tax, privatized everything, low on welfare, starve state funds - now that's what we're talking about. Colorado gradually became more and more like this during the 90's, and it's a really easy study of numbers to say that the quality of the State has slipped into a downward spiral. Pick one area and just study the numbers, for instance, pick an area like education, where Colorado once upon a time was among the top ten states. Ask a teacher - any teacher of children and you will hear stories, interesting stories, particularly if the teacher had her profession before TABOR (before 1992). Comparisons are stunning.

Anyway, Have you, my fellow Swedes, heard that Sweden and a number of other "socialist" countries in Europe (like Italy and Switzerland) are now going bankrupt because of our failed socialist ways?

This was news to me too, but according to certain right wing anti Obama people on line, this is true!

Doggonit, I'd better stay in America then, with its superior health care.

The same people that wrote that also wrote that it is the Democratic party's fault that the economy crashed. In fact (drumroll) Alan Greenspan WARNED liberals who tried to block regulations, when voting.

Do these people not read any newspapers at all? Or are they just enjoying the lying. Greenspan is the problem. A democratic woman did the warning, ten years ago, Greenspan slammed her. Fun article about how Greenspan is completely shocked about the crisis, but still denies blame

This is how it is in Sweden:

We have seven larger parties: The Social Democrats (socialist with capitalist tendencies), the Left Party (probably the closest to the word "socialists", but not quite by Marx' doctrines), the Green Party (basically leftist liberals), the Center party (originally a farmer's party, they like free trade and environmental issues), The Folk party (much like US centrist liberals), The Christian Democrats (right wing libs or moderate reps, social conservatives, fiscal centrists) and finally the Moderats (basically right wing liberals or moderate republicans, fiscal conservatives and social centrists).

The once leader of the Moderate party in Sweden, Carl Bildt, had a saying: To the right of us is only the abyss. I always enjoyed that quote, even if I didn't always enjoy the man himself.

If I had to choose, I'd be inclined to choose the Social Democrats, but I will say that no party is exactly in my taste, and that I have voted to the right of the SD party. I also actually think it is good that there is a minority government that's right wing in Sweden right now, because I think the Social Democrats should shape up as a party.

So, party-wise I could with great honesty say that I am unaffiliated, in my home country. My heart & ideology is not with any party, but with what's called The Swedish Way or The Swedish Model, which basically is this:

1)Fairly high taxes, but also extremely proportional taxes.

2)Very high audits and control on governmental spending money, but also a lot of spending money.

3)Very free media/speech/open records policies

4)Fully state funded welfare, health care, care for the elderly and the handicapped, college and certain other things. (this means for instance that anyone can go to college regardless of family money, as long as they have sufficient grades)

5) Privatized health care for those who want and can afford it. (this means that you can choose what you want to go to a private clinic for, without ever losing your state funded health care)

6) Basically a system in which Private Corporate forces coexist with State forces.

7) How do you even explain "allemansrätten" to non-swedes? Basically it means that all land, be it private or state owned is free to roam for any citizen, as long as you follow certain rules (as to not destroy, litter or pollute anything).

The Swedish way can be modified in one direction or another, depending on who's in power. More capitalism or more socialism, so to speak, which leads me to my last conclusion on this issue.

I have never seen a somewhat successful economic system in any country without socialism (yes, this highly includes the US)

I have never seen a somewhat successful economic system in any country without capitalism.

To round this off with something hilarious: a friend sent me what's below, click and watch it, even if it's not as funny as if I really was able to vote in this election.


Awesome

Oct. 18th, 2008 10:55 am
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via [livejournal.com profile] sashash and others, Obama is joking and being sarcastic about the campaign, and funny as hell. The clip of McCain's speech on youtube is funny too, just not up to par. Still, it is refreshing for this Swede to see that there are attempts on both sides at a sense of humor in the shit-fest that is an American presidential election campaign.

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When reading/hearing about all the could have, should have, would haves of the economic crisis in the US I was wondering if anyone would once more bring up Brooksley E. Born.

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She's the woman on the left, once on Clinton's short list for Attorney General's office had a meeting with the gentlemen on the right in the picture ten years ago and went on something of a one woman crusade for more regulation. Everyone in a suit (and mostly with a dick) opposed her, including the "musketeers" on the front of TIME magazine. I urge you to particularly look up Mr. Greenspan in the middle, an old Reagan man who had been a key man in deregulation and in many other Wall Street formative deals over the last 2 decades.

Articles about it in The Washington Post and The New York Times

Born has refused interviews, leaving her opponents to explain themselves as best they can. Very gracious woman indeed.

Well, at least they finally wrote some more about her in the media.
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The funniest thing with Las Vegas was my mother's reaction to it. In general it can be summed up with her persona fitting hand in glove into Garrison Keillor's a Prairie Home Companion monologues.

"aah, jaa, see all these lights, Martin Martin (dad), fiilm the sphinx, film thaat, not those, why don't you film what I'm pointing at, listen to me!"

(whispering loudly in my ear in the casino) "So, you really mean that ANYONE could be a millionaire, even though they are all dressed very badly, even if they wear SHORTS and SNEAKERS???"

My mother was enamored and disgusted with Las Vegas at the same time, like a child who'd wished for a frisbee and instead been handed a very shiny and complicated technical gadget. She heard the story about the engineer who five years ago had put 3 dollars in a slot machine at the Excalibur and won 36 million, and she couldn't let it go. We explained and explained to her that this virtually never happens, and that's what makes that story extraordinary, not the actual sum of money, and yet she said:

"We will gamble, you must. Here children (!), take these $100 and use them up, your father and me will do the same."

And me and the geek did so and it was fucking boring, in the end we found a way to go $50 on plus, so we were okay, but my mom came over to us and shook her head and tssked angrily.

"Your faaather, he lost it all. First he won 75 dollars and then he lost every penny, it's typical for him to not listen to me, I told him to change machines!"

I then told her that the house always wins and showed her how to quickly lose ten bucks on her own and she looked so sad.

"..but zis is...zis is so...dishonest, all zeese people playing with their paychecks, someone should stop zem...

The funniest moment with my mom in Vegas was however when I took her to the fancy brand stores at the Bellagio hotel. We entered Gucci and these well manicured high heeled vulture ladies who live on elegant slave labor commission contracts started to circle around my tiny mom like hungry velociraptors around a sandpiper and my poor sandpiper looked at the beautiful $500 Gucci bag and then at the reptile-ladies coming closer and closer, at the bag and then at me, finally she hissed: "I DON'T want to talk to those women!" and ran out of the store. I had to hold my mid section from laughing while walking out, ducking away from the stiletto glances of the raptor ladies.

On our way from the Bellagio my mother pursed her lips in a defiant way and said: I COULD buy that bag if I wanted to, I HAVE the money, anyone can see I'm not poor. I just don't want to TALK to those harpies. WHY can't they just not leave you ALONE, if I buy something I'll approach them.

In my head I heard the Prairie Home companion monologue and for some reason I felt good that she'd stormed out of there.

My dad was in on the whole Garrison Keillor pastiche in his own way, by just walking around and smoking like a chimney wherever he could, and saying: Shuttup woman, this is VEGAS and you can smoke EVERYWHERE, it's ALLOWED.

Anyways, I think they had a good time, and me and the Geek didn't lose our minds, so win-win I suppose.

To sum up the rest of what's occupied my mind in the last 2 weeks:

* No news on the job situation, I'm preparing for the end of the contract by the end of the month, and for quitting.

* A close relative of the Geek's has asked me to become the godmother of their child. I think it's a conspiracy to make me stay in America even if the axes of evil win. It's a shame that it might work, since I love their little baby girl. I am chained to this country by love and it might very well break me. It will be my second godchild, my other goddaughter lives in Sweden and is 11 years old.

* Liberal economist Paul Krugman won the Nobel prize in economy, and already other angry economists in the US rant about it being an era of socialism coming upon this poor country, and that socialism has never worked.

Really? what about a mixed economy of socialism and capitalism? Do please tell me that it's never worked in my face, it wouldn't be the first time I hear that and laugh.
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I am amused at the variety of ways the word "socialism" is used in the US - even in so called "serious" newspapers. Please, there is no rescue package big enough for the Bush administration, the treasure secretary or any house democrat or republican to approve, that would make it worthy of calling "socialist". A government which bails out big business is not socialist, it is capitalist, just a specific brand of capitalist.

But I guess it gets certain right wing hard corers knickers in a twist, wo-hoo.

Hilarious part II: the wide variety of ways in which "fiscal conservative" and "social liberal" are interpreted.

Think about it. If you call yourself it, you'd better understand it. One thing is for sure, fiscal conservative does not equal that all welfare should be sponsored by charity, and social liberal does not just mean that you are pro racial equality and pro gay marriage.

I would recommend some books, but why should I, no one pays me to be awesome with knowledge, except the State Archives.
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I love the gorgeous enormous bouquet of flowers some of you sent all the way from Sweden (via Broomfield Colorado, but still!)

I love your wishes on LJ, the messages, the emails and the facebook notifications

I love the drunken confused voicemails

I love the cake and tiara and bitch paraphernalia from my work friends

I just love you so much right now, because I really needed it this year.

Now if you excuse me, I must go to Washington and solve the Wall Street Crisis, but rest assured that I can debate you anytime while doing that, because if I reach behind my back, follow my tailbone upward, I do believe I shall find a spine.
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