Feb. 25th, 2009

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Maybe I'll be back writing on LJ one day, when I don't have a virus or a head cold or laryngitis, or blocked sinus syndrome or something else that is draining me and making my life even more blah than it is.

If I was prone to the (much hated) mysterious, ambivalent livejournal one-liner post, I'd have several posted during these weeks. Like: "I give up" or: "oh no, not again" or: "what, in that color??"

But I will not do that to anyone, it's the blog version of cock tease or pussy tickle.

(yes, I'm sick again, if anyone wonders, let's not talk about it at all, it isn't anything interesting)

Instead: Let's vote on the best lj one-liner post ever, I'll give a few suggestions, and if you feel up for it, add on in the comments, and I might make a poll.

Mysterious asshole one-liner posts on livejournal we hate/love most, Suggestions:

1) "The End" (very dramatic and dystopian, make me wanna use cymbals)

2) "I give up" (such a potent variable, makes you think without getting anything for it)

3) "This day sucked" (the ultimate cock teaser, who the hell doesn't want to know how anyone's day sucked?)

4) "I'm ready to fuck someone up" (Even more so than the previous one, we really really want to know who our friends want to fuck up and why)

5) "I slept with him/her" (If you write this, you are born to sit in bars and flaunt your sexuality without ever taking anyone home)

6) "I hate my life" (not only is this a one-liner, it's also criminally boring, whine about your life with some thorough indignity, that's what blogs are for)

7) "Life can be so unfair" (this is an evil one. As friends we get our adrenaline pumping, who has been unfair to you, why?? We want to FIGHT FOR JUSTICE for you, but you sluttily deprive us of the privilege)

8) "It's all gonna change now" (If you're not Obama, then stop, just stop)

9) "Just watch me" (yeah..we are, and..??)

10) "How did this happen?" (My guess is that it happened because you pussytickled too many of your LJ friends at the same time)

Example of good one liners:

What, in that color??

If I had a sausage I would do it

I'm calling Jessica Biel's stylist

That dress shouldn't be legal

I know how long his penis is just by looking at his
denim crotch

Bacon boobs!

I'm changing religion

I'm not really his father

When I dance I think of Daniel Craig in a kilt

She got crabs but I didn't!!

And these are just the ones I came up with on the fly when I was sick, think what potential there really is in the one-liner when you climb out of your own arse and make something creative with them.


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